A delicately positioned phone camera focuses on a woman in a frilly apron. Her kitchen is spotless as she cooks an elaborate meal for her family. When she posts the video, millions of viewers consume this carefully crafted fantasy of domestic bliss.
The term “tradwife,” short for traditional wife, refers to women who embrace conventional gender roles, often prioritizing homemaking and family care over professional pursuits. This lifestyle has gained popularity on social media, where influencers share curated glimpses of their daily lives as tradwives. Viewers are drawn to their time-consuming, elaborate meals crafted in picturesque kitchens and romanticized portrayals of domesticity.
Influencers like Hannah Neeleman and Nara Smith have amassed large followings by showcasing their versions of traditional domesticity. With over 10 million Instagram followers, Neeleman presents an idyllic image of rural life on a multimillion-dollar ranch in Utah. She raises eight children and tends to farm animals, all while maintaining a picture-perfect home and marriage. Smith focuses more on creating elaborate meals and maintaining a polished home, though she is now worth millions.
The reality of the tradwife lifestyle is more nuanced than its appearance on social media. Neeleman employs a personal assistant, a homeschool teacher and occasional babysitters to manage her household. Influencers like Neeleman and Smith film curated views of their adherence to gender roles, while other tradwife content creators dedicate themselves to promoting conservative values. Some influencers take their traditional content further by using their platform to promote marital submission as advised by religious texts like the Bible. Many of these women aren’t actually “traditional,” they’re wealthy business owners role-playing a 1950s housewife aesthetic. Neeleman considers herself the founder and CEO of Ballerina Farm, which sells a range of products and employs dozens of workers.
In most cases, tradwives promote vintage ideals but don’t acknowledge the troubling history and stereotypes behind them. Conservative posts mourning the loss of traditionalism fail to recognize a past where women were often subject to sacrificing their happiness and autonomy for the sake of their families. Law concepts like coverture meant that prior to marriage, a woman could freely execute a will, enter into contracts, sue in her own name and sell or give away her property as she wished. Once married, her legal existence as an individual was suspended under “martial unity,” with few rights distinct from those of her husband. From 1940 to 1970, many American housewives who exhibited signs of distress or conditions such as hysteria or neurosis — typically observed in women who showed unhappiness in their conventional roles as homemakers — were diagnosed with ‘housewife syndrome’. What medical professionals considered to be ‘disturbed’ behavior in women were often commonplace expressions of emotional distress — making women’s discontent synonymous with mental disorders.
Trends on TikTok have shown increased viewer engagement with traditional and conservative-leaning content. The rise of the ‘tradwife lifestyle’ highlights the need for more diverse representations of womanhood. While traditional roles can empower some, they should not overshadow women who celebrate non-traditional lifestyles.
It’s also important not to dismiss the influence of religion on traditional households. Many tradwives, including the Neelemans and Smiths, practice Mormonism. Mormon culture emphasizes traditional family values, domesticity and large families, all hallmarks of the tradwife lifestyle. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, also known as the Mormon Church, teaches that motherhood is a divine calling, a belief reflected in Neeleman’s approach to family life. She has stated her decision to have children was “very much a matter of prayer,” indicating the strong influence of religion in her life.
The tradwife phenomenon is largely an online fantasy rather than a real-world trend. The lifestyle only grants such attention because it’s foreign to most people’s reality. Curiosity and criticism drive much of the traffic on tradwife accounts, similar to the appeal of reality TV or “big family” content on social media. In reality, women are working more now than ever before. The idea of staying home instead of working is a privilege that fewer and fewer adults now possess. Multiple incomes are increasingly necessary to achieve financial stability, and the majority of millennial families are dual-career couples.
While all women have the right to choose their lifestyle, it’s crucial for consumers to approach tradwife content critically. The fantasy sold by tradwife influencers is just that: a fantasy. It is often unattainable and potentially harmful when marketed as idyllic. The tradwife trend spreading to less-regulated social media platforms could steer social media users toward radical far-right content and misinformation.
Instead of glamorizing the tradwife lifestyle, we should celebrate the diverse paths women choose, whether in career, family or a combination of both. Real empowerment comes from women having the freedom to make these choices for themselves.
