In early 2019, partway through fourth grade, I went out with my family for sushi, which was not an unusual occurrence. Unbeknownst to me, my parents were figuring out how to break some news. That day, my parents dropped the bomb. “Surprise! Dad’s gotten a high-ranking job at the Shanghai Consulate, this summer, we’re moving to Shanghai,” they said. With tears in my eyes, I sprinted to the bathroom, shocked. I hadn’t seen it coming at all and didn’t want to leave the home I had created here. I was finally settling in and was terrified of leaving and having to start all over. Even though this wasn’t the first time my parents had had this conversation with me, it didn’t get easier.
I’ve always struggled with considering any place home. In fact, I’ve called so many places “home” that it’s difficult to distinguish one where I actually felt at home. My dad joined the State Department’s Foreign Service before I was born, so my life has been a series of moves, constantly being uprooted again and again.
My parents never heard my complaints, they would repeat that I’d “appreciate it in the future.” Even still, repeatedly saying goodbye to the friends and lifestyle we’d embrace for a few years at a time was difficult for me as a child. I was born in the UK before moving to Taiwan for 10 months. Immediately following Taiwan I moved to Ghana for six months, before moving to China. After living in China for two years, my family moved to Ethiopia for three years, and then to Bethesda for four. After Bethesda, my family moved to Shanghai for the better part of three years, before coming back to Bethesda, where we’ve been since.
Even though I struggled with the way I grew up, today there are many things I’ve grown to appreciate about my childhood. In particular, I’m glad for the exposure I received to cultures I never would have experienced otherwise. I’ve peered over Lalibela churches in Ethiopia tucked deep below ground level and watched thousands of skyscraper lights bring the Shanghai Bund to life. I am grateful to have traveled extensively and experienced these sights at such a young age, and to have seen so many cultures up close. My family has always been the constant holding me still in the face of everything swirling around me. I feel lucky to have traveled to so many places, and yet part of me wishes for a solid foundation to call home.
Growing up in so many different locations distorted my sense of identity — I didn’t know who I was without my constant moves. It’s my go-to fun fact, my two truths and a lie. Sometimes, I feel like it’s the most interesting thing about me.
When you’re constantly moving, it’s rare to end up in a place more than once. However, since the State Department is in D.C., my family has lived in Bethesda more than once. Thanks to this, I’ve gotten to maintain certain friendships since elementary school. These friendships became a rock that I could rely on, especially when I had to quickly transition between living in Shanghai and Bethesda when the U.S. government evacuated government officials and relatives during COVID-19.
It felt like I had only just settled down in Bethesda before I was back in Shanghai. I hated having to leave a place and come back just to leave again, and I felt like as soon as I got comfortable somewhere, I was told we were moving. The constant back and forth made me hate my lifestyle even more, and I begged my dad to quit the Foreign Service and get a “normal job like everyone else.” He didn’t listen, and while I now understand why he refused, at the time I was devastated that I’d been uprooted again, and I couldn’t understand why he enjoyed it so much.
Looking back, while I do wish growing up overseas didn’t cause me to question my identity and who I am so much, I wouldn’t trade it for anything else. I’ve seen things and places that I’ll probably never see again, and my travels have created unique experiences beyond comparison. I’ll never forget the eye-opening experiences of school trips in Shanghai to underfunded areas of China and seeing Meskel parades in the streets of Ethiopia. Instances like this make me appreciate the way I’ve grown up, despite the downsides.
While I wouldn’t necessarily choose this lifestyle for myself in the future, I recognize the doors it has opened for me and how it has allowed me to learn about other cultures up close. Though I don’t want being the child of a Foreign Service officer to define me, I couldn’t imagine my life any other way.
