Tips for preventing hallway PDA

By Staff Writer

As summer approaches, classrooms are getting hot. But in the hallways there’s some steam that has nothing to do with the warm weather. Whether its hallway canoodlers or lunchtime gropers, PDA-ing couples make everyone uncomfortable.

If you’re feeling at a loss for how to prevent these uncomfortable encounters without being rude or getting way too close to something you think might give you an infection, here are some suggestions.

The Cocker Spaniel: When training a dog, a kind and humane way to let the animal know that what it’s doing is unacceptable is by lightly misting it with water from a spray bottle. The same thing can apple to PDA-ing couples. There’s no reason to be mean by soaking or hurting them, but a light mist might help cool them off a bit and remind them that they are, in fact, in a school.

The serenade: If someone wants to make their romance public, give them a hand by supplying some sweet tunes set the mood. From “Can you feel the love tonight” to “Let’s get it on” serenading someone in the hallways is an easy way to kill the mood without being mean. After all, the goal is to make them just as uncomfortable as you are.

Bring in backup: Several teachers, such as Mr. Michaels and Mrs. Eagan, will happily rebuff a PDA-ing couple, maybe even lightheartedly shame them in class to deter future encounters.

Provide encouragement: Offering nice complements to couples while they go at it is just invasive enough to make them extremely uncomfortable. Encouragements such as “aww” and “how sweet!” highlight the absurdity of making out in front of all of your peers in the hallway. Plus, watching people’s reactions is just funny.

If none of these tips work, be creative. Just remember that you have the right to walk through the school or sit down at lunch without seeing more than you would need a parental permission form to watch on TV in school.