Well, it was quite a Super Bowl, with plenty of storylines at the beginning, a Bourbon Street party at the end and a halftime show by aging rockers with arthritis so acute they could barely lift their guitar. But while the action on the field was intense, there was almost as much intrigue in the Super Bowl-record 48 minutes of commercials during the game. Of course, they weren’t all winners (I mean come on, godaddy.com, are you even trying anymore?). So I took the liberty of picking out the top five ads from Super Bowl XLIV:

5. Doritos—Dog Collar. With all due respect to the funeral and first-date Doritos ads, the best Doritos ad of the night was the first. It starts with a mean-spirited guy eating Doritos and laughing at a dog wearing a no-bark shock collar. The (unrealistically) clever dog then sulks away, takes his collar off with his miraculous, newly opposable thumbs, sticks it around the man’s neck and barks, shocking the man and taking the Doritos.

This spot allowed us all to dream of a world where dogs can cause serious pain to mean people. Although it had a few logical issues—from the question of why a dog smart enough to undo a no-bark collar would focus his powers on getting one bag of Doritos to the obvious thought that this is what the pit bulls should have done to Michael Vick (oh, I was the only one thinking that? Never mind)—this commercial was good for a big laugh.

4. Late Show—Super Bowl Party. Letterman. Leno. Oprah. In one commercial. Even though this one was only a 15-second ad, it was the one people had the most discussions about for weeks after. A lot of them centered on who lost out by agreeing to do this spot. Was Letterman the loser because he made Leno look like a sympathetic figure and pardoned him for weeks of dissing his marriage? Was Leno the loser because he was in a commercial that promoted someone else’s show on a different network? Or was Oprah the loser because she looked heavier than two truckloads of iron? It’s all up for debate.

3. E*trade—Jealous Girlfriend. While it’s really hard to mess up talking baby ads, E*trade deserves credit for keeping the same ad form while adding more characters to keep them from getting stale. This installment was possibly the best yet—the first look into the baby’s love life. As we learned, the baby has both a girlfriend for a meaningful relationship and a mistress for…well, whatever else babies do.

Not surprisingly, most people enjoyed this commercial, but it should have pleased one person more than any other: Tiger Woods. Maybe it’s not so bad for a man to cheat on his spouse if even America’s most beloved talking infant is unfaithful to his mate too. It’s quite possible that this commercial, aired in front of the largest TV audience of all time, could do more to fix Tiger’s reputation than sex rehab ever could. Well played, E*trade baby, well played.

2. Hyundai—Brett Favre’s Future. With some funny Sears commercials earlier in the year, Brett Favre proved he could put out some good ads even without the rest of the Wrangler crew (yellow lab included). But this was by far his funniest effort. It shows the 50-year-old Favre accepting the 2020 NFL MVP award, before debating whether he would retire after the season. The commercial then explains that no matter what happens in 10 years, Hyundai will still be there.

The commercial is hilarious less because of Favre’s acting job than because he really didn’t have to act. Really, who would be surprised if he was still playing in 2020, or if he debated continuing his NFL career well into his AARP years?

All in all, this commercial might be the most compelling reason yet to buy a Hyundai (although that’s not saying all that much).

1.Snickers—Betty White Football.The popular (and don’t forget satisfying) chocolate bar cashed in on a common interest of the entire American people: famous old people getting decked. In this spot, a hungry guy in a pick-up football game is playing—and looking—like elderly actress Betty White, and paying the price, until he has a Snickers bar and returns to his former self. And if you hadn’t gotten your fill of elderly stars getting crushed, at the end of the ad the quarterback turns into Abe Vigoda and gets slammed into the ground.

This early-game commercial was funny and re-watchable, and getting Betty White to say “That’s not what your girlfriend told me” was the night’s best use of the elderly outside of the decrepit, hoarse halftime show.