Dear Casey

Unconditional love didn’t exist in my mind until Monday

because I had never felt that kind of love.

It’s a love that is full,

a love that feels like it’s enough

to fill entire galaxies.

The imperfections are what makes it so perfect.

Casey filled my heart in a way no one ever had.

They were a part of my life for five loving weeks.

In a short amount of time, Casey became everything.

Their name forever engraved in my heart

and a name that will bring me heartache every day. 

I’m so sorry Casey.

I’m sorry I couldn’t fight for you.

I’m sorry I wasn’t able to see the beautiful person

I know you would’ve been.

I’m sorry I wasn’t able to hold you

or be there for you as you cried.

I’m sorry I’m not able to be there to celebrate

every smile, step, or birthday.

I wish I could’ve seen the ultrasound.

But maybe seeing you would be too heartbreaking,

because only then would I grasp how real you were.