The Black & White

Walker’s ed

By Molly Kaplowitz

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Every morning, I immerse myself in a heavy stream of traffic. It’s not cars I’m dealing with. I’m navigating my way through the crowded halls of Whitman.

Hallways are almost as congested as the rush hour gridlock — just try traveling through the bottleneck in Whittier Woods before seventh period.

Overcrowded hallways can often causes students to arrive late to class. Photo by Billy Bird.

It’s time to apply the lessons we learned in driver’s education to the busy Whitman halls.

Rule #1: Yield to wide loads.

If you saw a lumber truck merging onto the highway, you would let them go, not cut them off. The same concept applies in the halls. If you see a student burdened with an armful of textbooks hurrying to their next class, step aside. Don’t even think of cutting them off. This prevents a lot of awkward scrambling for dropped supplies after student collisions.

Rule #2: Stay in your lane, and warn others when switching.

I can’t count the number of complaints I’ve heard about students cutting off or bumping into each other. Give advance warning when switching paths. Wait for a gap in the hallway or risk awkward step-dances with people going opposite directions.

Rule #3: Find shortcuts.

Often, people are late to class purely because of hallway traffic. Rather than taking the same route and running into the same problems every day, try to find alternative routes. It may be faster to walk the opposite way around the school’s donut shape if you can avoid slow halls that way. If you have a class in Whittier Woods, try going out a side door and around. It’ll save time and allow you to appreciate the outdoors.

Rule #4: Swerve to avoid PDA.

As staff writer Melanie Goldberg aptly pointed out last school year, students’ need to lock lips in the middle of the hallway has gotten out of control. If you know that the route to your next class involves crossing paths with those who really need to get a room, either go around or try mapping a different route.

4 Comments

4 Responses to “Walker’s ed”

  1. Anonymous on October 1st, 2010 12:48 am

    Ha, I love this, especially number four. Very nice job, and clever idea.

  2. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL on October 4th, 2010 9:57 pm

    “If you saw a lumber truck merging onto the highway, you would let them go, not cut them off. The same concept applies in the halls.”

    Really fantastic analogy. Really.

  3. AKH on October 26th, 2010 9:06 pm

    Very well written. I have a suggestion-many people use Whittier Woods and the congestion by stair four (the ‘whittier death stair’) is horrible. However, by comparison, Stair 5, the next stair over, is almost always empty. People that are coming up from the cafeteria or coming down from the third floor that need to get somewhere OTHER than whittier woods should take that stair or some other.

  4. Ehab Abutaleb on October 28th, 2010 6:38 pm

    This is very funny, Molly. Good job!