The Student News Site of Walt Whitman High School

The Black and White

The Student News Site of Walt Whitman High School

The Black and White

The Student News Site of Walt Whitman High School

The Black and White

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March 21, 2024

No Lunch for Young Men

Recently, an announcement came over the loudspeakers, decreeing that only students “with permission” (read: seniors) could go out to lunch. This bold edict sent shockwaves throughout the entire school by reminding us all of a law that’s been in place since, well, forever.

So why was the reiteration necessary? Simply put, Whitman’s lunch policy is outdated and inefficient, unable to stop the recalcitrant juniors who threaten its long-standing integrity. There are several measures the SGA and administration could take to alter the existing policy to ensure safety and enjoyment for all.

Open Lunch: For years, SGA candidates vying for your votes have been promising to enact an open lunch policy in which juniors could go out to lunch as well as seniors. While this guarantee has paved the way for many SGA members’ careers, no one has followed through on this promise yet. Letting juniors out would make it easier on security guards who have to spend their afternoons fighting the elements to try to catch those pesky miscreants and would help expose the Class of 2016 to the countless palatable options that Westbard has to offer.

Go Big, Not Home: If administration is going to insist that the seniors should be the only ones to go out, they should at least try harder to enforce it. Nowadays, flash any borrowed lunch pass (or even an index card that resembles one), and you’re flying down Whittier at breakneck speeds before you can say “I’m just not feeling bagels today” for the fifth time this week.

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If they really don’t want juniors going out, it’s time to invest more time and effort. I’m talking retina scanners. Or, you know, student ID’s. They’re already issued to all of us, and they have everybody’s grade printed on them along with an accompanying picture for easier identification (rendering our current system entirely redundant).

Bring Lunch to Us: One argument against letting everybody go to lunch is safety; many drivers are too inexperienced to be driving their friends out to lunch on busy roads. That sentiment is a thoughtful and reasonable one. So why can’t the outside world come to us? We’re Whitman, dammit! Best school in the state! We’ve had books written about us, and NFL players and E! News co-anchors have graduated from our ranks! We single-handedly keep The Princeton Review, Lululemon, and Georgetown Bagels in business! You’re telling me we can’t get some food trucks or catering businesses to come to us?

Some people argue that the options would get boring too fast, or that the legal process to allow food trucks to operate on campus too long and convoluted. But can you imagine a Five Guys or Chipotle truck, sitting out front every day to greet us? That would surely be conducive to less dangerous driving. More cases of obesity too, but that’s neither here nor there.

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